R

W

B

C

Unblocking the Blessing by Ms. Rona Last night, my youngest daughter asked if she could sleep with me. Usually, I would say no because she snores and slobs too much for me! But, for some reason, I welcomed her into my bed. She climbed in a pressed her face in her pillow. I was busy folding some brochures, but couldn't help but notice that she looked like she was smothering herself. "What are you doing?" I asked. She responded that she was saying her prayers. I interrupted her and asked her what she prayed for when she said her prayers. "Why?" she replied. "Because I want to know," I responded. My daughter then told me that she asks God to forgive everyone of their sins; she prays for the world; every race in the world; peace; happiness in the family; hoping that she and her sister get along better and that 'grandma will be okay.' I thought for a second, while trying to let her see the tears welling up in my eyes. I then turned to her and said, "Why do you pray that your grandma will be okay? Do you think something's gonna happen to her?" She said, No. She said that she knows her grandma is stressed and that she is unhappy since grandpa and her are not together. She also said that she knows that grandma is unhappy when we don't get along (we being me and my mom). I leaned over to her and hugged her. I then started to cry. I explained to her that my mother and I get along...it's just that we have been so close throughout my life, that we forget sometimes that she is the mother and I am the daughter. We argue like we are sisters. Just like she and her sister do. My daughter, holding back her tears, looked at me and said that she understood, but she wanted to finish saying her prayers. My daughter fell asleep in about five minutes. Me, myself...did not fall asleep for what seemed like eternity. I just couldn't get that three minute conversation out of my mind. I layed there and prayed, openly, and I cried. My daughters are both Godsends. With each, I had very difficult deliveries. I was told at an early age that I was not 'built' to have children, but anyone who knows me, knows that I usually get what I want or desire. By any means necessary. Yes, with my teenage daughter, her birth was traumatic. But with my youngest, I almost died. Some say that is why I have this uncanny bond with her that they don't see with my older daughter. I don't think that I treat either of them differently. What I do know is, that they have different aura's. My youngest daughter has an aura of an 'old soul.' Like she has been here before. Many of her mannerisms and her demeanor are like that of my grandmother - a woman who I adored. She is a small angel. She is very conscious about everything that goes on around her. She loves everybody .... and she dislikes conflict. She is a peacemaker. At ten years old, when I get into an argument with my mother or anyone else close to me, she intervenes. She wants to be the peacemaker. She comes and sits down with me, rubs my back or shoulders and tells me that everything is going to be alright. At ten years old, she tells me that I need to be the bigger person and go apologize because in the end, everyone will be sorry because they feel bad. Such wisdom from someone so small and so young. That is why I feel that she is an 'old soul.' She sometimes says stuff of a grandmother analogy. I prayed last night and asked the Lord to give me a better heart, mind and soul when it came to handling situations in my life. I know that approximately one year and ten days ago, I was a different person. I promised myself that my life was going to change. That I wanted to better who I was. I wanted to stop and smell the roses. I wanted to treat people better. I wanted to stop cursing. I wanted to stop sharing myself with so many people. I wanted to move the people out of my life who weren't serving a greater purpose. I wanted to be a better role model for my daughters. I wanted to love God and I wanted God to be proud of me. Things over the past year for me have been wonderful. So much so that I have taken advantage of the blessings that God has bestowed on me. Blessings that we don't even look at as blessings. I stopped saying my Prayer of Jabez faithfully in the morning. I stopped thanking God outloud for waking me up in the morning (it had become a thought that I would assume he heard, because he knows all things). I stopped going to Bible Study every Wednesday and slacked off in attending church every Sunday. I stopped being anxious to buying the tapes of the service so I could review and refresh my mind. I stopped being conscious of my cursing. I stopped being nicer to people. I stopped being the person who I so desperately wanted to be come. It took a ten year old child to remind me of my purpose here on earth. It is not please those in the Flesh. It's to please God and to be a role model for the children that I was blessed with. It took a ten year old to show me how to pra and not be so quick to only think of myself in prayer. Not one time did she say that she prayed for herself. She prayed for everyone else....people that she did not know. I wanted to ask her, well what about asking go to bless you....but she is already blessed.